This week's show had a segment on one of the uniquely modern career dilemmas: work-life balance. I'm sure we're all too familiar with this problem today's worker deals with daily, trying to find the happy medium between career, and everything else we label as life.
This week's show had two guests discuss the topic. (For those who want to listen, the segment begins at 20:50) The first guest, Christina Mckelvey, explained how work had simply taken over too many of her limited hours. She was staying up until 1:00 am for a conference call in Asia, and then waking up at 5:00 am for a call in Europe. The stress was getting to her, and so she came up with an innovative solution. When working after hours, she agreed to answer emails from her boss's level or higher, but emails from anyone else in the company would just wait until morning.
The compromise seems logical, if still not quite fair: agreeing to answer any and all emails from leadership at any hour, but not for the rank and file. Still, I bet a lot of you readers will identify with the situation, as well as the need to cater to leadership.
In our age of low productivity gains, this seems to be the way some companies are getting more out of less. Since the past decade has been terrible from a productivity standpoint, the only way many companies can increase output is by creating a culture in which workers feel like they must put in longer hours. Hence our new normal, and the inability to have any real work-life balance.
The next guest, Sue Bielenberg, turned the segment on its head: she stated the question was anachronistic, maybe a bit tone deaf. The question of work-life balance reflects a time back when most of us still had good, steady jobs with salaries and benefits. Complaining about that enviable situation is somewhat insulting. Now, working as freelancer, Sue was simply not able to pay her regular bills on time, let alone enjoy any paid time off. When she went through her goals, like having a job with benefits again, having her car repairs up to date, and simply working in her field, it was clear: she would gladly take on the dilemmas of a work life balance, and working an eighty hour week, if given the chance.
As usual, it seems I've forgotten how lucky I am. Most of this blog is just a form of complaining: complaining about the fact that I have to work for another three and a half years so I can retire by forty. Complaining that I don't find my current work entirely fulfilling. And there are millions of people in my own country who would gladly take on my work, with a salary, earned from a home office, with no commute, and healthcare, and dental, and paid time off.
Who do I think I am?
Now, to be fair to those of us struggling in the modern workplace, the stresses are certainly real. People are working longer hours for stagnant pay. We're all human, so sleep deprivation, overwhelming stress, and the constant financial pressures that face workers are all things that need to be addressed.
On the other hand, there are many, many people in this country, and many billions more worldwide, who would gladly take that situation, no questions asked.
In some regard, we early retirement bloggers are the worst sort of whiners. We're living in the first world, blessed with fairly cushy jobs, we're on the path to financial freedom and security, and most of us are just counting the days until we can be rid of all of it, so we can move on to something better. I'm speaking for others here, and that's always a bad idea. But that's at least how I see it.
Sure, go for financial independence. Leave the cubicle. But things really aren't so bad. Work is long and hard, yeah, and it's probably not all that you wished it would be. But, man, in a lot of ways, things are pretty freaking awesome if you think about it. Or even if they aren't, there's probably someone on the other side of town, or the other side of the world, who would gladly trade their situation for yours.
While we're waking up to another freaking Monday, counting down the years until we can be free of work, try to find a little something to be thankful for.
*Photo is from Michael Lokner on Flickr Creative Commons.
Interesting post. It's one of the Freaking Mondays for me so far. It's such a balance act. Half of the time I am thankful for all that you mention in the post but the other half I hate it and dream of a better solution. The problem for me and probably a lot of us is the higher you climb the bigger the fall (or that much more FIRE money to get out). I think at least part of the problem is the part of life a lot of us are in. If you read happiness studies they bottom out in our mid-life years and rebound as we get older. That could be financial independence or knowing our limitations. It could also be having children leave the nest and getting past the aging parents time. Sure seems not so great when in the middle of this though. Oh well back to making the donuts:) Thanks for another great post.
ReplyDeleteTime to make the donuts is, like, the best ad ever.
DeleteThanks for the kind words, iFreebies. I think that's the dichotomy most of us deal with: feeling fortunate at times to have the job, because on some level that's always true. But no matter how lucky you really are, eventually you start to treat your situation as a new normal. You adjust. So then, the new slog can get you down if things get somewhat worse at work (even if they're technically, relatively better than the job you had previously, or not having a job at all).
It's a duality that, I think, we early retirement folks are trying to solve by simply quitting work early and cutting out that side of the work life balance. But I wonder if that's really solving the problem, you know? We'll see, of course, in a few years.
I was just talking to someone yesterday how it drives me crazy how many millennials jump from job to job after only being somewhere a couple of months because of perceived dangling carrots. I've been in the workforce for a long time, PLUS have had the experience as a freelancer who struggled, so I can't even tell you how much I appreciate my current job, the pay, the location, etc. It's a great place to work yet I know many who work here can't see that. I also know many people who work long hours also do that to themselves. Not always, but sometimes there is a little bit of being a martyr sprinkled into the situation. "oh you poor busy thing." It's one thing I'm super adamant about with my current job. I work 8 hours but I bust my butt during those 8 and expect my team to do the the same. But I would never consider calling them after hour and I never get calls from my boss after hours either. I know that it's the quickest road to burn out, and I want my team to enjoy being here.
ReplyDeleteThat's a great perspective, Tonya. Being able to recognize the opportunity the job is, working hard for the eight hours, and choosing to have a positive outlook.
DeleteBut like you said, there's a real benefit of just leaving work at work. Taking it home, yeah, no bueno.
What a sad state of affairs. Seriously, the fact that an inhuman work schedule like the ones you describe is considered an object of envy - well it just makes me both angry and profoundly sad. There is something really, really wrong with a society in which people must forego basic human needs like sleep in order to manage financially.
ReplyDeleteI do see your point that those with good paying jobs still have it better than some who are struggling financially, but I think it's missing the larger issue that the society is very quickly reverting to a feudal state where we quite literally have financial kings and serfs. Requiring people to work such horrendous schedules is just immoral in my opinion, as is the fact that we have somehow allowed this country to turn in to a full fledged oligarchy where the power and wealth are concentrated in so few hands.
I think we need a new definition of "labor" in this country, and a recognition of the fact that the blurring of the line between worker and management has led to widespread abuse and a virtual circumnavigation of the OSHA standards that were set up to protect people from things like inhuman work schedules. Just my opinion...
I can always count on you to bring out my inner liberal, Cat. :)
DeleteYou have a fair point about how we see labor. The fact that unions are more or less defunct at this point surely has contributed to the grey area that applies to so many salaried employees.
Just to play devil's advocate though: workers are almost universally able to jump ship if they don't want to deal with these situations. Unemployment is as low as it's been in a decade. If a situation isn't good, isn't the onus on the worker to either change that or, if that's not possible, apply to other positions?
Management surely has a hand to play, and there's an obvious advantage to keeping workers happy (and retained). Still, the individual worker is in control of her career and her boundaries. At a certain point, it's up to the worker to say "enough" or "no", right?
Maybe I'm being too draconian.
Well, those are interesting points, but I think when the entire culture has accepted the norm of long hours, and when the expectation that people should be "on call" during their time off is nearly universal, "jumping ship" really doesn't do people much good.
DeleteI guess I just think that the corporations have done a pretty good job of redefining much of their workforce to "management" as opposed to "worker" levels. I mean, if the company is arranged hierarchically so that most people have both a boss that they report to and people who work under them, then everyone except those on the very, very bottom tier can be considered "management" and thus are exempt from OSHA standards.
I just think that the workforce has changed dramatically in the past 50 years or so, but the systems in place to protect workers from abuse has not kept up. Unions worked great for blue collar manufacturing situations, but largely haven't been adopted by white collar workers, and I don't think the model has kept up with the changing work situations that most people experience these days. Same thing with OSHA standards - there are no requirements or guidelines for checking emails or text messages.
Clearly, some of the current situation is due to the fact that our culture seems to have adopted a national martyr complex, as Tonya described, but I don't think it's an accident that the wealth in this country is more concentrated at the top than any time in the past 100 years.
I agree that workers need to take some of the responsibility, but mostly I think they need to be more informed and vote for candidates who will stand up for their own interests, rather than succumbing to the incredible propaganda of the past 35 years or so which has convinced so many people that somehow deregulation and tax policies which boost big business are good for them, when they clearly are not.
We'll likely disagree on the final points you made about tax policies and deregulation. I'm a Democrat, but a moderate one.
DeleteThere's probably some reason for hope in the fact that an English major and a Music major are arguing these points, while both somehow being on the path to early retirement and financial independence themselves. Things can't be THAT bad.
Simply put, I don't think it's that dire a situation, so long as people are managing their finances. Even if work sucks, it's possible to leave the rat race after 20, 15 or even 10 years, so long as you have a decent savings rate. So even for people who are burning out, there's a way out.
Jim Collins writes about "FU money". Having a little financial security allows you to say "no" to a boss, or to simply go to another job. Even if the culture there is to put in 60 hours, you can be clear about your boundaries in hiring if you're in a good financial situation.
All in all, I see a reason for optimism. For those who aren't seeing that, maybe a reality check is in order. Talk to more people -- I bet there are plenty who would trade your problems for theirs.
This is just my $0.02 of course, and it's really shaped by my mother's upbringing (and, by proxy, my own). She grew up in the Philippines, in conditions I can barely comprehend, and her time working here in the States as an immigrant with an accent was no picnic, either. Whenever I'm unhappy with how things are here in my American bubble, I hear her voice, reminding me that I have it pretty good.
All good points, as usual. If we can do it, others surely can - though living in a neighborhood of mostly Mexican immigrants, I am painfully aware of the privilege that my white skin, good education, and financially secure family provide.
DeleteHonestly, I tend to go back and forth between feeling like it's all a sham and the system is rigged in favor of big business and those at the top, vs. feeling like anybody can get ahead if they just try hard enough. And at the moment I'm still reeling from a family gathering where certain people were insisting that poor people are poor because they are stupid, lazy and genetically inferior. Sigh.
In truth both of my wavering viewpoints probably are true. The system is rigged in favor of the wealthy, but you can still outsmart the system and get ahead with a bit of ingenuity, willpower and, of course, luck.
Maybe I'm just a soft-hearted liberal, but I do pine for the days when getting ahead did not require outsmarting the system - when it was the default position for anyone who followed the basic rules of society. Then again, maybe that's just a fantasy, and not how things ever really were in the "good ol' days."
I get the feeling that the days you were pining for really were our reality. That American labor had a heyday following WWII. I've read some interesting theories on why that happened, and my favorite is that that period in American history was completely unique from a technological and innovation standpoint, which allowed a broad prosperity for the middle class. That today's innovations simply aren't as transformational...and so finances can't continue to improve for the average worker at the same rate as they did in the 50's, 60's, & 70's. As always, who knows?
DeleteI'm a closet liberal at heart, too, but as I've aged I've unfortunately given into a resigned realism (so, Hillary is kind of my ideal candidate). I'm much more drawn to pragmatic solutions that can get results now (saving for retirement, frugality, working a second job, and, to the point of this post, using some mental tips to see the best in a tough situation) than in idealistic big swings that may not come to pass (basic income, universal healthcare, sweeping changes to the tax code or corporate work environment).
Like you said, both sides of the dichotomy are probably right. The game certainly isn't being played on a level playing field. But that doesn't mean the underdog can't pull out a victory, either.
There are definitely two sides to the coin of seeking financial independence. On one side, the luxury of even being able to shoot for such an audacious goal as retiring in one's thirties or forties is contrasted with the very real, often very stressful working reality that it can take to get there. So yeah, my job (and Mr PoP's job) sucks sometimes. But the stability and ability to increase our income and savings over the last seven years has been pretty significant as well. (We remember what it was like when Mr PoP was un/minimally employed... it was not fun at all, even though I had a job.) So we really do try not to complain about them most of the time because we still feel pretty grateful to be where we are.
ReplyDeleteBut the flip side of occasionally having conference calls on Sundays or VPN-ing in to the office on weekends to check progress of scripts that are running is that we can also take time off when we need to and are treated as adults. I recently had a little medical procedure and Mr PoP had to accompany me (anesthesia requirements) and we both kindof laughed when right before the procedure the doctor asked us if either of us needed "sick notes" to bring for our employers for being out of the office for the morning (well, day for me - though I VPN'd in for work as soon as the anesthesia wore off a couple hours later). Our employers have never asked us for sick notes. Yes, we work hard and sometimes that happens during traditionally "off" hours. But we are also granted the flexibility to sometimes take care of personal items during "work" hours without anyone questioning us or making us feel like children that can't manage their time. That kind of employer/employee informal compromise doesn't make for a great narrative when it comes to either being uber-grateful for your job or wishing you just had *A* job, but I think it's the reality for a lot of upper-class white collar workers (which is really the Marketplace target audience, anyhow... right?).
The extra benefits of being treated like an adult at work have some sneaky upside. Where I work, no one is double checking your hours or asking for a note, either. That's a great call out, Mrs. Pop, and something else to be thankful for, along with both of us having incomes. Lots to be grateful for.
DeleteAs you noted, there are downsides, too. Work can be unbelievably stressful for today's white collar worker. And maybe fooling ourselves into seeing the upside isn't the best long term solution. But for us short-timers...
It's always good to be thankful for what you have. Basically, anyone who lives in North America is WAY better off than those in third world countries. And even though we all work hard, no one got to where they are without help. That being said, you don't have to settle. You shouldn't have to feel guilty just because you want to strive for something better. The best thing to do is live the life you want to live but be grateful and give back by volunteering and mentoring, etc once you are FI. That helps the world more than being stuck in a job you hate and selling out for money. My favorite quote" If you're lucky enough to do well, it's your job to send the elevator back down"
ReplyDeleteThat's a great quote, FireCracker. Our giving has slowed as we're pushing harder towards FI, and the specter of Mrs. Done by Forty perhaps not working/having our first child has made us somewhat uneasy about future income in this final stretch. Still, that doesn't mean I couldn't give some time.
DeleteI've been trying hard to focus on gratitude as I struggle with the too-slow-for-me progress of our debt payoff. One need only look at the news to see how very blessed we all are. Great job, my friend, on seeing the need for gratitude in your life.
ReplyDeleteI hear you, Laurie. I know debt payoff can be a slog, and I appreciate it must be harder with kids in the mix. But like you said, the further away we look, the easier it is to see that, even with our problems, we are blessed.
DeleteYea, I kinda feel bad about whining while on the journey to financial independence. Though I generally only whine about the high costs of living in NYC which impedes my journey. Nevertheless, many of living here making much less. Not exactly relevant to the discussion, but thought you might find this interesting...this comic pretty much perfectly summarizes privilege: http://thewireless.co.nz/articles/the-pencilsword-on-a-plate
ReplyDeleteI thin it's your God-given right to complain about NYC costs. It's like how people in Chicago get to complain about the Cubs' curse, people in San Diego get to complain about nothing, and people in Cleveland get to complain about everything.
DeleteI loved that cartoon, and I wish I'd thought enough about my own privilege when writing this piece. I've certainly benefited from a ton of it along the way.
I agree that a lot of FI blogs are overly complaining. I don't count yours in that by the way! I do the occasional rant over at mine but try my best to keep it either informational, positive or at least humourous. I don't think complaining gets any one anywhere and agree that we should be thankful every day that FI is even an option on the table! I know I am and I've written about similar myself fairly recently in fact.
ReplyDeleteSaying all that... 80 hour weeks! Wtf! Surely anyone working that hard is getting VERY well remunerated and needs to look at the expenses side of the equation it they still are under financial stress?! I didn't listen to the show so apologies if that isn't the case, I'm just making assumptions.
Cheers, and good to see you smashing out the posts over the last couple of weeks. Just catching up now :)
Thanks, FIREStarter. I'm trying to get back in the writing habit, and it feels good to be productive.
Delete80 hour weeks are certainly the norm in some corporations, with the typical 10 hour day, then a couple hours at night for email, and some working on the weekend, too. So there's reason to complain, surely. But I think it's important to own your choices, especially as there are so many who would gladly take that occupation/salary on, if you really don't want it.
This was rather insightful and yes, I agree, we can find something to be thankful for in the midst of whatever personal struggles we are going through. I just had to remind myself of that after a major mess-up on my FT job yesterday.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear that, Latoya. But it's just one day, and this, too, shall pass.
DeleteAlways something to be thankful for.
I've been thinking quite a bit about time lately. One thing is that every person has 168 hours per week, but some people make much better use of it than others. One thing that I found difficult when I worked FT was that my waking hours with my son were just 2-3 hours on weekdays, and all those hours were stressful. Sure, I had the weekends, but it's not the same. Now, I have plenty of time for my kids but very little energy for work and personal care.
ReplyDeleteEnergy and time both matter, and I think it's easy to visit tropes of busyness and say they apply to us without examining how we could change our attitude or our schedule to make our life better.
Right, Hannah: we all get the same 24 hours each day. It's all about how you use them.
DeleteThe situation you describe with only having a few hours with your family is one of our main drivers to reach financial independence. I don't necessarily think we'll be caregivers 24 hours a day, either (and after school starts, that'll change quite a bit), but 2-3 is just not enough.