Four years seems like a very short time to reach early retirement. One presidential term. One Olympics.
In another, more real way, the way that involves me going into a job every weekday for nine straight hours, and stressing about work while I'm off the clock, four years is a pretty long time. It's too long to just gut it out: to put my head down and grit my teeth until we're financially independent. I need to find a way to actually make my career more fulfilling and enjoyable, so that these next four years aren't just a slog.
The goals of financial independence and early retirement have been, at least to me, all about freedom: being able to do whatever I wanted with my days, instead of having some employer tell me what to do for the majority of my waking hours. But there's a problem with this approach. Framing financial independence like that, as a way of finally being free, has some obvious connotations for my current situation.
If my desired future is a life of freedom, then my current situation must not be all that free. It's nothing like economic imprisonment or slavery, but it is something I want to escape from. That is bound to have some impacts on the way I see my day to day.
Plus, escape is a pretty crumby goal. It's kind of cowardly. To frame a goal like that means I'm running away from something, rather than towards something. Running away from something I don't like will certainly give me a type of freedom and independence, but it's not particularly admirable. Escape kind of sucks, when compared to the merits of an achievement that you're reaching for.
Rather than escaping from traditional work, or even just enduring it, I want to find a way to really enjoy the few years I have left in this kind of life. As Cal Newport describes in Paula Pant's recent podcast, I want to commit to work deeply in my profession. I want to find happiness and meaning in my career, even if I ultimately leave it. Maybe because I'm going to ultimately leave it.
I can't remember if I've mentioned it here on the blog, but I work in Procurement. It's not as noble as the thing I went to school for. (I studied to be an English teacher, and yet look at all these run ons and sentences ending with prepositions and unnecessary parentheticals.) Still, I find a pleasure in negotiating well, in coming to agreement on terms, in buying the thing my internal customers need at a good price, and in saving the company money. At least, so long as I work for a company that has a mission that I admire and, thankfully, I do. I like thinking about how the dollars I save make it easier for us to do more good, and help us operate more efficiently.
I'd like to get back to that optimistic way of viewing my career: like I'm part of something bigger, that I'm helping my company do more at a lower cost, and that I'm genuinely helping us do good. You know, in our own, corporate overlord sort of way.
I know many of the readers here are likely forging their own paths to financial independence (and maybe even writing about it), precisely because you don't view corporate business culture as something to be admired, or leaned into, or endured any longer than necessary. What if the cubicle really is a kind of prison? If that's the case, then what I'm proposing, looking to find happiness and meaning in working for the man, is akin to decorating one's jail cell. It's a type of self-delusion.
I can't say what traditional work really is at its core, but I do like the idea of defining it for myself. It's not a cell I need to escape from. And it's not just a means to an end, either. It's something I've chosen, something that's worthy of my full attention and effort, at least while I'm sitting at my desk. And who knows what I might find if I really devote myself to my work again?
I've let the allure of financial independence have an impact on the way I see my career over the years: like it's something that I don't need to give that much of myself to, since I'm on my way out the door anyway. But the fact is that I'm not leaving anytime soon: four years more, at least. It's far too long a time to just go through the motions.
But there's plenty of time to work deeply, to be honest with the time that I'm being paid for, and feel some pride about giving my best. I know I'm actually looking forward to a Monday morning for the first time in a long while, and that's something.
Time to get back to work.
*Photo is from frankh at Flickr Creative Commons.
That is something! It's interesting to hear all the stories about people on the cusp of financial independence, particularly when they're about 4-5 years out. It sounds like it's pretty tough to push through the last years when you have such a big goal in mind and in the grand scheme of things you're pretty close.
ReplyDeleteI agree with you though that the only way to realistically handle it is one day at a time. We can't be living four years in the future. Who knows what will be happening then anyway!
I like the way you put that, Biglaw Investor: we can't be living four years in the future. It's a problem with having such a long term goal: there's an allure to discount the present in anticipation of the far-off future you're working towards. And it's a bad tradeoff.
DeleteI love this. It's good to have goals, but I think whether we're fighting towards something or working towards flight, making the here and now meaningful is extremely valuable. Otherwise, when we get to our proverbial mountain top, all we'll be able to do is look out over the next one, allowing satisfaction and contentment to escape us eternally.
ReplyDeleteExactly! I wish I'd had the insight to really emphasize the present in the post (and, frankly, earlier in my path towards financial independence). As always, the best thing is to be present.
DeleteI hear you completely. I think it's our big desires for this magical future life that does make the day-to-day that much more of a grind. I think you become more accepting of what is when you don't have any major goals like FI.
ReplyDeleteThat's something I hadn't considered...maybe this is just an inherent downside of having a long term financial goal like this. Rather than reframing, maybe I just need to accept that a certain amount of dissatisfaction with your current situation is part of the deal with a big honking goal.
DeleteI'll have to noodle on that one, Tonya.
I think most of us are pursuing FI because it would provide more freedom and choices. I certainly fall in this camp too.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I think that's the common thread among us: the desire for a free life, one completely independent from financial concerns. I just don't want to look so hard on the horizon that I miss out on what's a few feet in front of me.
DeleteWell, I can certainly relate to the sentiment of this post. I mean, back when I was still an employee working for the non-profit music school, I had a total "feel good" position, working for the greater good, yadda, yadda, yadda. But still, I just couldn't escape the feeling that my life did not entirely belong to me - that the organization "owned me" in some fundamental way.
ReplyDeleteAnd while there is some truth to the idea that one's time is not one's own when one is an employee, I also think that a good chunk of the feeling of not "being free" had nothing to do with my job and everything to do with me. When I was younger I felt the exact same way about school, and since quitting, I've found the same old feelings creeping up around family obligations, caring for sick cats, home repairs, housework - hell... even the fact that I have to make something to eat several times each day can feel like an imposition!
Now I'd be the last person on the planet to suggest that financial independence is not a worthy goal, but I do think that it's worth looking inside a bit to sort out some of the other things that make us feel trapped. In my case much of it has to do with my childhood and the feeling that nothing I did was ever really good enough.
Anyhow, I think finding purpose in your work is a good thing, but I'm also living proof that if what's making you feel trapped is coming from inside, a change of employment status will not do much to change it. In a funny way, for me it actually provoked a bit of a crisis, as I suddenly had nothing else to blame my feelings on on and had to come face to face with my own reality. It turned out to be a really, really good thing for me, because dealing with one's own personal shit leads to more real freedom than finances can ever provide, it just wasn't exactly the way I was expecting it all to work!
I always appreciate your comments, because you've seen both sides of the early retirement journey: the work to get to the crossover, and then the life after.
DeleteAs always, we need to look inward. I never seem to get that. Even in this post, I'm looking for outward validation (via a job) instead of some other outward validation (via financial independence).
"To frame a goal like that means I'm running away from something, rather than towards something."
ReplyDeleteWell-said. This is exactly what many people don't understand. You can't run away from something, you have to run towards something better. Otherwise, after retiring, you'll just end up bored and depressed with no purpose. You need to figure out what you enjoy and work on doing that.
You are changing your mind set to like the the positive things at work, which is great. That will help you get through the next 4 years. In my case, I was writing on the side and that's what got me through my days. The idea that work is just a means to an end and after I reach FI, I'll be able to write full-time. And not only that, I also get to do a bit of coding but for a non-profit and towards a worthy cause. So no skill is ever wasted...even after you retire. So you're absolutely right. Don't run away. Run towards something better.
I know some traditional retirees who are bored out of their minds, watching TV all day and just chilling until death comes around. No way do I want that...but without a clear purpose and goal, something's got to fill the void. And there's a whole entertainment industry waiting to do just that.
DeleteI do feel like writing is the thing I want to focus on, and I'm trying to do that now with the blog and (hopefully) some writing on the side, too. I may just need to refine the purpose of the writing beyond what's happening on this little blog...
I've had the goal of being financially independent since I was in my early 20's (I'm 36 now) but never with the goal of running away from something. Instead for me it's about security, independence, and being able to give back to others. Right now I don't have a desire to leave my corporate job, but I like the idea of having options. Plus my corporation could choose to lay me off at any time, deciding they no longer need my services. I'd like to be in a position where if that happened I would have flexibility and time to find something else.
ReplyDeleteHi there! I think you were the nice person who welcomed me on the Rockstar Finance forums, right?
DeleteI definitely feel like I have the same goals: security, independence, more ability to be generous, more options. All of those are, by themselves, great goals. But I do feel like I personally (certainly not all bloggers pursuing FI) have some downsides that come with that framing: seeing my current situation as inherently not free, not that independent.
As a similarly driven personality, I've always had the next milestone in my sights. But recently, I've also come to realize that by focusing on that next goal toward this ginormous big picture vision, I feel less than satisfied with my current reality.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't it be horrible to white knuckle it through for the next four years only to die in a sudden car wreck right as you reach financial independence?
Now, I realize that there is a balance. It's only through big dreams and diligent progress that we achieve incredible feats in our lifetimes, like genuine financial freedom.
But I've stopped timelining and milestoning lately (I had quite a few giant yellow sticky pad posters up in my room of all places). And I've stepped back to be present and grateful for this moment. We are so incredibly lucky to have the freedom we already have, and it doesn't cost anything extra (necessarily) to find ways to appreciate your work and create a more fulfilling experience from those nine hours a day at the office.
Perhaps that car wreck in four years doesn't kill you, but leaves you in such a financial state that you *get* to work a few more years before financial independence. Perhaps by investing as you are in your work happiness, you're life will still have joy and meaning and celebration even if the vision is delayed. Good luck!
"We are so incredibly lucky to have the freedom we already have, and it doesn't cost anything extra (necessarily) to find ways to appreciate your work and create a more fulfilling experience from those nine hours a day at the office. "
DeleteLove the way you put that. There's a huge benefit in finding fulfillment in my current work with no (necessary) costs. There ARE opportunity costs if I delay finding a way to enjoy the present though. Today will be gone pretty quick, and I'll never have it again.
I'm probably in need of some goal setting, but that of a short term variety. i.e. - engage in deep work for two hours today, or exercise for an hour today. I'm letting the big honking financial goal justify a lot of lazy downtime (tv) and half-assed work, and I don't think I like the results.
Thanks so much for the thoughtful comment, Emily.
It sounds like you have a very healthy and well developed view of what you do. Keeping perspective on work and focusing on your goal can have the effect of increasing your confidence in who you are. Thanks for your thoughts on this subject.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the kind words, Millennial Money, but I personally don't know how healthy or well developed my views are these days. :) Without the helpful editing of Mrs. Done by Forty, you would get to see my "thought vomit" in its unadulterated form.
DeleteI definitely could do with more focus on my work though. I want to leave having given my company and team my best, so I can look back with pride on my traditional career.
A good introspective peice there mate!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you've some new found vigor for the day job but I can't help but think I'd quit right now if I were that close to being fully free! Surely you can find some deep work of your own that pays the bills for a few years to cover the shortfall?
Just my two pence though :) - I know you want to travel when FI so maybe you are worried about earning while on the road? *cough cough travel blogger cough *
I'm kind of digging my job right now (work from home, not too stressful, 401k+match, nearly 5 weeks off a year). Still, it's not perfect so I'm sure I'll leave some day. For now, I want to lean in and see how that feels.
DeleteThe main reason I wouldn't leave now is the disparity in pay. There's just no way any side income that's available currently would compare. Now, maybe someday I can follow in the footsteps of other bloggers and make six figures online.
However, I'm pretty protective of my writing right now. I am hesitant to turn thing I love into another J.O.B.
I hear ya loud and clear mate! I guess I'm transposing my work situation onto your life. 3 hours commuting each day, and not that highly paid enough that I couldn't do some freelancing to match it with probably less hours if it came to the crunch. I think one more year of saving and I'm outta there. Actually 1.5 years to get the yearly bonus. Yea that sounds like a good plan for me :)
ReplyDelete3 hours commuting each day? Yeah, that is rough, man. If they're not throwing money at you, or if you don't just love your job, then I agree: it may be time to find something better.
DeleteThough I do remember something about free food and beer at your job. Hard to walk away from free drinks. :)
Yes, it would definitely be nice if I could enjoy the work I'm doing instead of dreading every minute of it. It will make the achievement of early retirement even more enjoyable.
ReplyDeleteOh, no! That's like the saddest comment in the whole thread. I hope it's not that bad, Latoya.
DeleteI've been meaning to that Podcast. I guess I can try to think my job is "noble" as I work in government so I'm a public servant. The job is not too bad and there are interesting parts. One big downside (like Firestarter) is the long commute. The other related one is the lack of flexibility. Would love to be able to work from home or have some flextime, especially when juggling kids/errands etc.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to think of a more noble profession than a public servant. I'd say you qualify. :)
DeleteMaybe part time work at home & flextime would be an option? I find that year end reviews are great for the big "asks", especially if you have had a good year but, like most Americans these days, aren't getting a raise commensurate with what your performance might suggest. There's a natural instinct to reciprocate when someone does you a good turn, so if you've given your boss a year of good performance, he's more likely to want to give you something back.
Anyway, who knows what's possible, but I'm hoping it might work out!
The thing about working in government is that they are behind the times and have very little flexibility. Plus working hard is not always rewarded and bosses don't always have the authority to make these decisions. It's mostly based on seniority and political connections around here...
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this a lot lately. I too could afford to quit and keep my current lifestyle indefinitely in 4-5 more years. But part of me has come to question the FIRE goal. I don't hate my job, and in many ways it's ideal: I work less than 2 miles from my home, I have lots of flexibility and autonomy, and I can help people in a general sense. There's nothing stopping me from killing it at work, but the closer I get to FI the more ambivalent and - frankly - lazy I get at my job.
ReplyDeleteBut what exactly am I planning to do when I can afford to quit? Keep working? Quit and become totally self-indulgent? Find something else to focus on? It's a lot simpler to find some work I feel passionate about that I feel like doing for 20-30 more years versus focusing on "escaping" from my current reality with a bare minimum lifestyle and minimal future goals.
I keep thinking back to this post.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I are planning/making a stepped-down retirement. Neither of us plan to fully stop working but we are gradually lowering our hours at work as we free up our finances from debt, etc.
I'm never sure what the rush to stop working is. Most people then go to fill their life with other obligations regardless.